Today I was told by my lawyer that there is nothing I can do against the the guy who abused me because there is no way to connect what happened with the suffering I went through.
That made me sad. I know exaclty how that affected me. While in intimate situations I was always detached and had anxiety. My ex boyfriend and my current boyfriend saw it.
Soon after I spoke up, everything got better. Doesn’t that maybe mean that I was mentally destroyed by what happened?
Well, following the Italian law, no. I hate this country even more. This person, this monster is going to go free and will never know I know. Isn’t it terrible? But well, there is nothing else I can do.
I am still glad I spoke up, but I cannot believe that he won’t get what he deserves. Plus, anytime I speak with the lawyer I dream this monster at night.
Today it hasn’t been a good day. I hope in tomorrow.
Through anxiety and beyond 
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