An empty shell

If someone attacks you basing their claims on your weaknesses, this says nothing about you and everything about them.

While together with my ex boyfriend my depression was particularly intense, as also my mum was put on lungs transplant list.

I did not treat the guy fairly at times. I told him I didn’t know if I wanted to be with him, cried, and I was generally on the lowest mood possible.

But that was depression, not me. I still feel guilty about it, because only recently my depression started fading and I see clearly how I treated people in the past. I feel ashamed.

Well, it came to a point that my ex called me “an empty body” due to depression. But he didn’t leave me, and I wish I did by that point.

Why? Because after that nothing was the same. We made each other miserable. But I still liked him. So I stayed, and eventually we broke up.

It wasn’t easy to get over him but I managed eventually. Still, his words can deeply hurt me, as that guiltyness about how I was still follows me.

Yesterday he attacked me. He said that I use instagram to show off my life and because of that I am the everything that is wrong in the world.

Now, I believe everyone can use their profile as they wish. Also, my profile is private, so I know who watches mu story. Last but not least, there were photos of pictures, a chat about pokemon and a video about Iceland.

He said that the relationship between me and my boyfriend should stay between us and not be advertised on instagram, as I tagged him in some stories.

He said I am selfish. I say I am free to say whatever I want . Anyway, he downright insulted me as seen in the picture in this post. Attacked me on my depression.

I cried, because I know I treated him wrongly. I apologised back then. He just attacked me to my most vulerable place, my mental health.

What pains me even more is that I told him about my trauma because I wanted him to understand that it was never his fault if I was absent. I wanted him to feel better, while he just made me feel worse.

What I want to say is that no one who treats you like that can be fit for you. Do not believe what they say, as you did not choose to be affected by a mental health condition.

And usually who attacks you like that does it because they do not feel good about themselves. Do not listen, as you are worth it.

Has anything like this ever happen to you? Please share your story.

3 responses to “An empty shell”

  1. I’m sorry you’re having to deal with such awful things being said to you.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you. I am fine now, I just cannot explain to myself how a person can be that mean.

      Liked by 2 people

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