Everyone has compared themselves at least once to another person and thought they are better. I did it countless of times.

The other people were more beautiful, cleverer, more skilled, more charming. More everything. And I just wanted to be like them.

Comparing yourself to others has always had a negative reputation, and it is always said to not do it and focus on yourself.

I say that comparison is not always bad if done the right way. In other words, if you do it with the intention of learning something.

Here’s ways you can compare to others and get benefit from doing so, whenever the thought they are better than me pops in your mind.

1. Analyse which aspects you think are better

Ask yourself in which ways do I think they are better than me? Make a list. You will notice that some things are achievable, like being skilled in something or being in shape.

Focus on those, rather than on behavioural or physical traits that cannot be imitated.

2. Find out what you are interested in

You might compare yourself to a friend who can play guitar, wanting to do the same. But do you want to, really?

I took guitar classes because I saw my dad playing it and I thought it would be cool to learn. Turns out I got bored while learning it. Managing to play a song I learned did not give me the pleasure I thought it would.

I cannot play guitar, but I am fine with it, as I know I don’t enjoy it enough to learnt it. If you feel like you could be interested in something, have a try to see if you really enjoy it or not.

3. Ask questions

How did they manage to achieve it? We often ask ourselves when comparing to someone else. Well, why not ask them? Who better than them knows how to do it?

Asking this kind of question is always useful as it uncovers all the effort and difficulties someone had to go through to managed to do what they do effortlessly.

This gives you perspective on how much talent is involved and how much effort they put. It will often turn out that effort had more impact on the result rather than natural inclination.

4. Use others as motivation

Instead of putting yourself down and think that they are better than your, use them as your motivation. That is your arriving point, and you won’t stop until you achieve it.

Be inspired by them, learn the tricks and work on it while keeping am eye on whst they do!

5. Try similar experiences

Everyone has their own path through life, and it can be that some experiences that the person you are comparing to went through helped them achieve whatever they wanted.

Ask them, and do the same! It might not work for you, but at least you know where to start.

The person you admire the most works for a newspaper? Ask them what they studied, what they read, how many applications they made, how was the interview etc. You might find something useful in there!

Let me know what you think about this. Do you compare yourself with someone? How do you deal with it??