Through anxiety and beyond

Through anxiety and beyond

Stories from a tangled mind

  • About
  • Disclaimer
  • Diary
    • Chronicles from a hospital intensiveu0026nbsp;care
    • Chronicles from a hospital intensive careu0026nbsp;#2
    • Chronicles from a hospital intensive careu0026nbsp;#3
    • Chornicles from a hospital intensive careu0026nbsp;#4
    • Chronicles from a hospital intensive careu0026nbsp;#5
  • Archive
    • Malboro Red
    • Dear 2021
    • Feels
    • Someone else
    • Myself
    • Path
    • Strenght
    • Sunset
    • Short stories
    • To live foru0026nbsp;something
    • Wounds
    • Pages of myu0026nbsp;life
    • Feelings
    • Welcome to myu0026nbsp;mind
    • During the night
    • On feelings
    • The sea
    • Problem
    • On beauty
    • I am made of feelings tou0026nbsp;forget
    • I write because
    • Welcome to myu0026nbsp;mind
    • Emotions
  • 25th Jan 2022

    Hello world!

    Hello world!

    Hello world! I have decided to change the topic of my blog. If before it was focused on me trying to write poetry, now it will be focused on my direct experiences around topics of mental wellbeing. Why? As I am affected by a mental illness, namely depression, I would like to be useful and…

  • 6th Mar 2023

    I know I am not big

    I know I am not big

    The other day I was causally chatting with my colleague about diet, exercise, feeling fat/thin and the pressure around it. “You know, my parents keep saying I am big, even when I lost weight. I have decided that whatever they say will not matter to me anymore, even if they will comment that I am…

  • 24th Feb 2023

    Do we need to love ourselves before loving others?

    Do we need to love ourselves before loving others?

    I am sure everyone has heard this phrase before: “Love yourself first before loving others”. I, for a while, believed in this phrase too. Until reality hit me. I was convinced I could not love anyone due to my severe depression which led me to hate myself. Until… I did. Even with depression. As soon…

  • 11th Feb 2023

    Bittersweet memories

    Bittersweet memories

    The lights are shining warmly on the two-metres Christmas three in the living room. To me it is taller than two metres, it is seven, it is ten, as I look at it from my metre and a bit. I am eight or nine, and I am about to start my favourite activity of the…

  • 7th Feb 2023

    You look thinner, you ok?

    You look thinner, you ok?

    Last week I went to the dietologist. As always, we start the visit with general chatting, and then the moment comes, I step on the scale to see my progress. Although I lost weight, I convinced myself that I failed that week because it was not as much as a weight loss as in the…

  • 31st Jan 2023

    The diary of a student welfare intern – 2

    The diary of a student welfare intern – 2

    Last few weeks were all about exams and invigilating students. I got chosen to invigilate a student who required a special chair and a special desk in order to sit comfortably and write their exam. There was, however, an inconvenience, as the special chair that had been ordered for them had not arrived yet. Instead,…

  • 24th Jan 2023

    Wanting to call home

    Wanting to call home

    The other day I picked up the phone to call my mum, like thousands of times before, but my feeling was different. I wanted to call her. In the past I mostly called her because she was pressing me to do so, tapping into my sense of guilty. “You never call”, “when we call you…

  • 18th Jan 2023

    The diary of a student welfare intern – 1

    The diary of a student welfare intern – 1

    I got the opportunity for a job in a university, and I am in the team which, as a friend of mine put it, “carries on the students’ lives”. It is a rewarding job, as I get to help students with queries which are often related to psychological distress. It is not an easy job,…

  • 24th Nov 2022

    Emotional lessons

    Emotional lessons

    As a kid I grew up with two parents which had not be able to take care of themselves. This resulted in me assimilating some bad habits. My mum has never recovered completely since the divorce. She needed affection, and she put it on me. “Do you love me? Why do you never hug me?…

  • 14th Oct 2022

    Iceland trip

    Iceland trip

    I came back from Iceland on Monday and I still have the blues. I love cold places, I love snow and ice, I love mountains and those nights so dark you can see the milky way. And in Iceland I saw all of this. Wanna know how I travelled? Here’s my story! We followed an…

  • 12th Sep 2022

    Grandma died

    Grandma died

    Grandma died peacefully during her sleep. I am going to her funeral today. My mum said she doesn’t have any more reason to live. I pointed out I’m here. She said I am abroad so it does not count. I felt pain. She will never change. Image credits

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